Many people think that family relationships strengthen over time on their own, without any efforts from spouses, but this is not so. After reading this article, you will learn about what you should not do while living in a marriage.
10. Play husband and wife
Many modern ladies can no longer without their own earnings and careers, even if the husband earns very well. However, some women are still convinced that the wife should not work, and the representative of the stronger sex should always take on the role of a getter. There are also men who think that a working spouse is a blow to their self-esteem. It is very good when such people enter into alliances with each other: usually a complete understanding arises between them. However, it should be borne in mind that people are different, not dependent on stereotypes. It is impossible to consider that the other half should have something by default (just because she was born a woman or a man), otherwise you can quickly ruin the relationship.
9. Underestimate the importance of touch.
Touching each other, giving hugs is necessary, otherwise family relationships will quickly cease to be warm. The husband and wife will not be like lovers, but like roommates. It's not about passion, but about tenderness: we can say that the latter in family life is much more important than the former. Show tenderness with hugs, kisses and touches every day. Only in this way will your partner feel that he is still needed and loved.
8. Lead a home lifestyle
Even if love is very strong, after years of family life passions begin to subside. Usually in relationships that last long, there are fewer new impressions, bright events. Some spouses justify this by saying that living this way is much more comfortable and more familiar. However, periodic “bursts” are still necessary, otherwise joint evenings spent on TV will quickly begin to bother.
Of course, it is not at all necessary to constantly go somewhere, as at the very beginning of a relationship. Get out at least once a week, on weekends. This alone will be enough to ensure that family life is not associated with the swamp.
7. Roughly sort things out
Sometimes it is useful to let off steam, but this does not mean that you can shout at loved ones (and even more so beat them). If you feel that you are on the verge, do not break down on your husband or wife: it is better to go to another room and stay alone with yourself or go for a walk. Discuss problems with your soulmate when you can calm down completely. So it will be easier to find a way out of the situation, in addition, you will not break even more firewood.
6. Take care of how the relationship looks from the outside.
This habit is very dangerous. It negatively affects not only the relationship between spouses. Because of this habit, a person himself may stop understanding how he perceives his marriage, get confused in his own feelings. Attention should be paid only to whether you feel good together, and not what other people think about (even if they are your relatives).
If problems arise in the family, they should be worked out. To do this, you need to communicate with your other half, look for various compromises, ways out of this situation. So you can become a truly happy couple, and not just make such an impression.
5. Afraid of friends
In some cases, after the wedding, the couple forget about their friends and start spending all their free time with each other. However, this is not worth doing. People are social creatures. Any person needs to communicate with their own kind, to receive support, experience from them. Even if you love a husband or wife very much, sooner or later you will want to take a break from the second half in the company of a good friend. However, a friend must be a good one: be able to distinguish such people from envious people and energy vampires.
4. Keep an account
It is not necessary during each quarrel to recall the beloved person the mistakes that he made in the past. Try not to repeat words like "again" and "again" very often. One of the most common mistakes is to remember each partner’s mistake, to “keep score” in your head. This has a very bad effect on family life, causes undesirable excitement. Stop harboring resentment and remembering the mistakes of a husband or wife every time: you better learn how to deal with problems right away, talking about them honestly and frankly.
3. Offended by words and phrases
Quarrels from time to time arise in all families, even in the strongest and most friendly. This is absolutely normal. It’s abnormal when people don’t try to deal with the problem, seek compromises, but immediately begin to fully show their negative emotions, take offense at every word spoken. Try to control yourself: because of anger, resentment, you can spoil even the strongest relationships.
2. Make a partner a hostage of their emotions
Difficult days are for everyone. There is nothing wrong with sometimes complaining to your soulmate about recurring problems. However, you should not cry constantly, especially if you are also touchy. People who are often offended tend to make their partners guilty of a lack of sensitivity and attentiveness, and it is completely groundless. The partners of people who always complain and are blamed for something are very hard morally: some sooner or later do not stand it and leave the family.
1. Too dramatize
Some people are inclined even from small quarrels to fan world-wide tragedies. Living with them is very difficult, because their partners (as in the previous case) are under great psychological pressure. Unnecessary dramas, shortcuts (for example, “you never”, “you always”) and especially blackmail should be avoided.